the gray's: two months & Easter

What a wonderful last few weeks we have had!

On March 24th (which just so happens to be my amazing Poppy's birthday), we celebrated Jaden's 2nd month of life. What a month it was. We had visits from one of my best friends, Hayley, and also my mom and little sister came. We had our 8 week appt with our midwife and our doctor and we have a very healthy, strong, little man. He also had his lip and tongue ties both removed and while the recovery was no fun, our nursing relationship is SO much better, as is his gas and tummy problems. who knew? During this month, Jaden's colic was at it's peak. I was pretty much at my limit and felt like I was going to have a meltdown. He screamed non stop for two. whole. days. Even though he's had a pretty severe case of colic, he had never screamed and cried like that. His pedi couldn't see him and so I did what I had to do... took him to the ER. When I got there, I was sobbing. He hadn't stopped crying for a good 3-4 hours at that point and I just felt so defeated and helpless. The people at Cook's Children's (if you live in DFW, they are AMAZING) took such good care of Jaden (and of his emotional mama). They even took the baby and let me have a few minutes of quiet. Jaden was diagnosed with GERD which in laymen's terms is reflux. I knew he had tummy issues and had planned to talk to his ped at the 2 month visit, but I didn't realize that's what was causing all the discomfort. They gave me a prescription for reflux meds, which I really hate to put him on so young, but I was so desperate. I had tried EVERYTHING up to this point.

fast forward to Thursday, which is the day he was 8 weeks old, and ya'll... I had a different baby. He was smiling and cooing and laughing. Jordan and I went to lunch and Jaden was sitting in his car seat and all of a sudden he just started smiling at us. I started to cry because before that, my baby did NOT smile, nor did I ever feel like he was happy. He was an angel at lunch and usually going out is a nightmare for us.

I still have a different baby. I am SO thankful. I cannot tell you how much I cried and prayed these last 2 months. I cannot tell you how many times I thought, "I cannot do this another day." I cannot tell you how often the enemy whispered to me how bad I was failing and how helpless I felt. I cannot tell you how much I dreaded when Jordan left for work because it meant I was all alone with the baby all day. But now, I cannot tell you how relieved, appreciative, and happy I am to finally have a peaceful, content baby. It was by far the hardest 2 months of mine and Jordan's lives and we found a patience within ourselves that we didn't have before this. We learned to love and take care of our baby despite his constant screaming and not being able to enjoy him right away. Now, we are enjoying him so much more as he seems to be enjoying all of us. Not to mention the poor thing finally feels better! no tummy pains, no gas, no nothing. complete healing!

We have also moved out of our apartment. I say GOOD. FREAKING. RIDDANCE. I hated that place and I hated our upstairs neighbor and her demon dog so I am thankful to be out. We are back in with Jordan's parents for now as we're in the process of buying a house. *fingers crossed* We said we would never move back in with either of our parents, but for now we are thankful for the opportunity so we can save money, have some extra hands with Jaden, and to have the extra space. Plus we spend all of our time here anyway, so now we don't have an extra drive :)

Easter was yesterday. I am going to be honest, I get irritated at Easter because of all the people who are not Christian's the other 363 days out of the year (the other day being Christmas) coming out of the woodwork with random scriptures and all this religious hoopla and it makes me mad. It's like some people only remember what Jesus did for them 1 or 2 days out of the year and the rest of the year they don't acknowledge Him whatsoever or blame Him for things going wrong in the world and saying, "Where were you God when _________ happened?" I said to my family yesterday, I wonder how many ways people will try and write "He is Risen" all over Facebook. Let me tell you, it was a lot. But, then I felt convicted for being so cynical about it and not giving the day much thought because I was so annoyed by all the pretenders. I am grateful every single day for what Jesus did, but how does it play in my life? Sure, I pray, I thank God, I read scripture, I try and live my life according to the Bible, but what else?? Is that really it? We watched the new series "the Bible" on TV the last few weeks and last night's was the Easter episode. I have loved watching this every week because it really makes you wonder about things that you may not have thought of before. It tells the Bible as a story and I love that. Each week it has evoked some sort of emotion out of me. This week's had me feeling small and convicted. To watch Jesus go through what He went through, to have been beaten, to have walked with a cross on his back, to be accused, spit on, screamed at, whipped, nails piercing his body... for me? For me who sometimes tries to justify my sins? even the small ones? For us who continually turn our backs to Him when we hear Him and do not obey? For the people who are trying to get Him out of schools? For those people who only appreciate Him 1 or 2 days out of the year? For the people who HATE him? For the overzealous, haughty, biggots who think they can do no wrong? It just wrecked me. I cried as I watched and I couldn't stop thinking about it. How humbled I was... how grateful I was, and how I still couldn't quite wrap my mind around why someone who do that for me. How can you watch that and still not believe? How can you not be affected by the fact that someone else who was blameless died on your behalf? I just don't get it. Then I watched Mary as her son was being crucified and my heart just felt so much pain for her. I cannot imagine now having a son, watching him die, watching people mock his name, beating him... how helpless and afraid she must have felt. I immediately went upstairs and got Jaden, held him and cried. Ya'll, that was her baby boy. Dying for all the people who hated him. Can you imagine that feeling? Ugh. I know this is a lot, but I just was so astounded by watching the crucifixion yesterday. I think I need to rewatch it over and over again to keep it in the forefront of my mind. After yesterday, I am more appreciative than I have ever been and more humbled than I have ever been.

Okay- now on a much lighter note- here are Jaden's 2 month stats!

Happy Two Months, little one. my love for you grows everyday!